Path of No Return
by DarklingShift
Summary: Isabella Swan ... an insane asylum ... and a shocking end you won't forget. -Before me lay a contorted body ... ragged, matted hair placed a curtain between me and the human, blocking my view of the face. I already knew who it was.- New End Chapter!
1. A Loss

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns all.

Bella

The woods that had seem so secluded and peaceful had suddenly turned menacing. He had left without true reason, and now I, shattered, was clinging to the diminutive shred of sanity that was left of my consciousness. No empty space filled my distraught self, no, but there was something dark and solid that writhed and shrieked its agony. I had been retrieved from the brink of annihilation only to be dashed back onto the sharp piercing shards of despair. Perhaps this is what was meant to be, what God had set out, but what god would make one such as I have such a despairing future? Is such a life even worth living, as there is nothing that would make my life more wracked with misery that the absence of _him_, the one whom I had discovered in my faltering way that had taken me onto the path on no return? Oh, but to even think about _him_, I dare not utter, nor even think, his name, would tear apart to even more minute pieces the remains of what once was my beating heart. The darkness enveloped me, shrouded me, in a cloak of comfort. The only comfort I had.

Carlisle

The white walls of the passage glared brightly, nearly blinding my sharp eyes. Working here was gloomy, morose. The advantage of being indestructible when working with these people was they could never hurt you, and it was easy to control them. I had many patients that were suicidal, and would try to stop at nothing to kill themselves, even if it meant taking another person out of the way. I sighed once more, and checked in at the desk. Just another day at the insane asylum.

I received instructions to take care of patient 211a, a partially suicidal subject who had recently had a great loss of some sort. There wasn't much information on the paperwork that I received, but that was just the way things worked around here. A nurse escorted me to the room.

"Why is her cell black?"

The nurse glanced through the double-paned glass windows at the huddled figure, crouched in the darkness of her coal-colored cell.

"She shrieks every time she sees white. Anything white, cold, or hard, she goes into shock and is out for days." The nurse's voice was rough and gravelly, and her breath smelled like smoke. She turned her blue-gray eyes back to me. "Anybody who enters that room has to wear all black, or at least dark clothes. It's a pity, really. She's so young."

I observed her carefully as the nurse left, my eyes sweeping over her bedraggled appearance, her dark clothes, the hair that hung over her face. I could not see any of her facial features, as her long, chocolate brown hair obscured them. I quickly put on the dark coat that hung outside her door, along with the gloves and facial scarf. It was stifling inside, suffocating. I had the urge to rip off the scarf that went around my mouth and forehead, but I forced myself to stop. The door opened silently on well-oiled hinges, and I stepped inside.

The scent of the girl hit me in waves, stronger than I had ever experienced before. She did not move at the sound of my entrance, yet I could feel her knowledge of my presence. Her scent still flooded around me, and I staggered out of the cell, slamming the door shut behind me. I sank to the ground, clutching my head in my hands. The memory of her scent was overwhelming. I looked up. I had to tell them. It was _her_.


	2. Shock

Bella

I sat hunched in the corner of my confinement, pressing against the padded walls of my cell. I closed my eyes and hung my head, pushing away any thought that entered my head. I felt the slightest draft as the door to my chamber opened and a figure stepped in. I did not look up, because there was nothing to see. What would I want to see anyway? I felt the cold air waft toward me and I shuddered, as the air was bitterly chilling. I could smell the scent of the person – less obnoxious than the regular attendants that came and went. This scent was fresh but stinging somehow, like the cleaning fluid used on the window of my cell. I ignored it and crouched even tighter, hugging myself until I could feel each individual fiber in my straightjacket stretching. I heard a startled gasp and ignored it. The gasp was immediately followed by the slamming of my cell door. The shadows of my cell returned once more and I welcomed the incoming darkness.

Carlisle

For the first time in my existence I was gasping for air. The cool door pressed against my back, but the feeling was lost in the iciness of my own skin. I staggered to my feet and ran toward the entrance of the hospital, being less careful to have measured steps than usual. I brushed past a scrub as I made my way through the winding halls. He looked up at me, startled, as I strode quickly away. The receptionist called out to me as I dashed past, raising a hand to stop me. Her words were lost in the wind as I swung open the door to enter the blustery parking lot.

I opened the door to my car and slid in, simultaneously turning the key in the lock. The revving engine failed to drown out the whirling thoughts that hovered in my mentality. I sank into the flexible seats and rested my head on the dashboard. Rapidly, I jerked upright and pressed down on the gas, sliding smoothly out of the parking space. I knew what I had to do. I had to tell Edward.


	3. Rage

Carlisle 

The car's engine hummed underneath my seat, and I urged it onward, speeding down the highway. The freeway flew underneath the wheels of my Mercedes, but I paid it no attention. My head spun with the possibilities of this event, the outcomes that might come of this. My tires squealed as I turned the corner to the house. Alice ran through the doorway and wrenched the car door open. Her hand left an indentation in the smooth metal as she grasped the handle so tightly that her knuckles paled, even whiter than the insipid color that it was before. She knew. Of course.

The stairs winding up to Edward's room looked more lengthy than usual, my pathway to the despair-ridden man that was my goal to turn around.

"You won't get through to him." Alice said, " We've never been able to get through to him. You know that, Carlisle."

I sighed in frustration, leaning against the banister of the stairs for support. For years we had tried to revive Edward from his stupor of misery and desperation. He had refused to move a single step from his room until his eyes shone like eternal darkness with hunger that drove him to near madness for blood. We had hoped that he had finally realized that he must either leave her behind or move on, only to find that as soon as he had slaked his thirst that he retreated into his room to mourn once again.

I sighed once more and said, "We must try."

I stepped up onto the creaking staircase, taking the first pace toward the room that seemed forever dark. The pounding music that poured endlessly from under the door disconcerted my nerves, leaving no room in my head for thought. This, sadly, was the purpose of the thunderous, pulsing music – to drown out thought.

_Edward?_ I hesitated, my hand on the doorknob, hoping for an answer from the dweller within. My only reply was the continuous throb of pounding music. I pushed open the door a fraction, peering into the gloom of the darkened room. Even the eyes of a vampire could only see the faint glow of the dials on the stereo. I turned up the lights enough to see by and barely glimpsed the white figure against the black leather of the sofa. The air in this room was unnaturally cold, pressing in from all sides. I walked to the stereo and it turned off with a soft click. Edward still lay unmoving on the couch, his eyes closed, his clothes rumpled. He looked closer to peaceful than I had seen him since – since Forks, Washington. This was the most peaceful since the last time he had seen **her**.

"Edward?" I spoke quietly, as to not startle him. He had not spoken in three years, his lips sealed but for only the need to drink. Slowly the sealed lids slid open to reveal obsidian-tinted eyes, staring straight ahead and not acknowledging my presence. As an eternity passed, those spheres of black slowly tilted to gaze in my general direction, finally relieving me of my silence.

"Edward, you need to know something." His eyes stared unblinkingly at me, searing, as I hesitated to continue. "It is about her." I spoke a softly as possible, trying to make the idea less painful. Still, I caught the lightning-fast movement as he flinched, as my words struck a stinging chord in his mind. "I've seen her." I reached out to take Edward's arm. He shrunk away from my touch, like a caged beast.

"_Don't touch me,_"he hissed, eyes glinting in the dim light and teeth bared. His voice was unsteady from years of non-use, though his articulation was still as perfect as the 5 years ago.

My arm, of its own accord, shivered in the air as I slowly pulled it back from the offensive embrace. Still, I pursued my purpose, to let him finally see what he had done.

"You have to come with me, Edward. She is here, now. She is within the hospital at this very moment!"

Edward looked up sharply, his eyes shining as if sparking in the light. Abruptly he sank back into his crouch on the cushions, the fire dying as quickly as it had started.

"I can't go back," he muttered, staring at the dark carpet that enveloped the floor. I was shocked. He could not go back? But this was the thing that would make everything right once more! And yet, he refuses to heal the wounds, and prefers to lie in misery.

"You must go! Don't you see how close you are to having her back? Don't –" He whirled around to face me and cut me off in mid-word, staring at me with eyes tinged with flame.

"**I -- CANNOT -- GO -- BACK!**" His words cut sharply through the air, ice dripping from each word as he snarled in fury that seethed and raged. I stood, stunned by the ferocity by which the words were said. I stumbled, my already slim confidence blowing away like dust in the wind.

"B..b..but –" I stuttered.

Edward leapt and slammed me against the shadowy wall, holding me by the neck. The muscles in his arms twisted and his bloodless veins swelled. The tendons in his neck were tight with strain, and his eyes, oh! His eyes were terrible, like looking into the eyes of a wild animal caught in a cage that would try to get free, even if it meant dying in the process. These eyes were feral eyes, and they caught me so that I was too paralyzed to struggle.

Unexpectedly the hand gripping my neck was gone, as well as Edward. He retreated into the far corner of the room as the lights dimmed once more. I fell to the ground and rubbed my neck, dazed by the sudden attack.

"_**Go**_." He whispered this word and this word only. The coarse carpet rubbed against my palm as I pushed myself up from the ground and staggered out the doorway. I turned to close the door and caught one last glimpse of those shining, feral eyes.

**A small simple not to the readers … do you want a HAPPY ENDING with all the mush just like the rest of the stories, or do you want a new MYSTERIOUS ending? Please vote by sending me a message through my bio. Do not reply through reviewing. Please. **


	4. Drowning

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my own skin.**__**Sorry about the delay. I've been busy... my computer contracted a virus ... I've got a project due ... a bunch of things. Well, enjoy!**_

Edward

I stood with one hand pressed against Carlisle's neck, holding him off the carpeted ground against the wall of my room. I couldn't hear about _her_ anymore, I couldn't hear about what I had done to her. Every day her face haunted me, taunting me to return to her. And here Carlisle stood, reminding me yet again of the broken pieces that remained of my stilled heart. Rage flooded like adrenalin through the venom that pounded through my veins. I could feel each individual muscle straining in my being. Even my vision itself was blurred with fury.

Within seconds my vision returned to normal. I found myself standing with Carlisle struggling to return to the ground. Out of pure shock I released the deathly grip that I had on Carlisle's neck. One split second I stood there, staring with horror at the act that I had done. I recoiled back into the darkest corner of the room, pressing my back into the shadows that seemed more inviting than ever. Carlisle sank onto the floor, stunned. Once again, I was the monster, attacking the innocent.

"_Go_" I whispered, too repulsed by myself to say any more. Carlisle rose and exited the room, turning to close the door. For a ceaseless moment his eyes held mine, and I shuddered, unable to keep his gaze. The door closed with a soft click, and the night once more descended to console me.

In darkness I could not see all the things that brought back memories of a time with _her_. In darkness I was blind, blind enough that I could hold onto the little peace that was left with me at my departure from the heaven that lay in her arms.

My head sank between my knees as I thought back over what I had done. Carlisle, my first savior, who had turned me from the path of the bloodthirsty vampires that lingered in the stories of humans, had been the first victim of the rage that frothed in the rivers of consciousness. And look what I had _done_ to him.

This was crossing the line. I couldn't do this anymore – I had to get away. I felt the fury and frustration bubbling just below the surface, waiting for the perfect moment to be unleashed at another innocent bystander that was lingering in the wings, hoping vainly that all would be right again in time.

I turned the volume up once more, letting the pounding music flood my head and leave no room for thought. Meaningless noise kept my mind away from love and life, away from the future that could have been. It did not ease my pain, but it pacified me – it was a distraction that only masked the twinges of regret. But this time, only this time, the music did not drive away the reflections that were mirrored in the pond of my consciousness, but only magnified them a thousand fold. It pained me greater.

I turned the stereo off quickly, sitting upright on the couch. The glassy waters of thoughts manifested themselves as pictures – pictures of the people that I had hurt, the people that had trusted me once, but no more. Two pictures replayed in my mind. One was of_her_, shivering crouched as I told her to leave, that I did not love her. The other was of Carlisle, hanging broken up against the wall as I grasped his throat in my rage. Their eyes stared up at me, broken and glazed in their fear. They were themselves mirror images, both with the same film in their eyes, the same twist of their face to create the grimaces that wrenched my heart away. I stood and opened the great window that looked out into the forest. I had to leave.


	5. Forget

**Sorry I haven't updated, but my computer contracted a virus and I haven't had much time. I know that this chapter is really short, but I have the next one coming on the way. There WILL be a next chapter, don't worry. Just give me ideas. **

Bella

The coolness of the air that had wafted into my cell had stayed with me, taunting me. It carried a scent that lingered in the edge of my mind, touching my thoughts persistently. It had the caress of gossamer as it tingled in my head, mocking me as I tried to grasp what the scent signified. I pressed my head against the cushioned walls. It was too dark to see, but I stared up at the ceiling that I knew was there.

Suddenly, the evading thought tugged urgently at one part of my memory, one specific part that had caused all this. I gasped for air as the thought made itself shown, bold and clear. I could hear the blood pumping through my ears, pounding and rushing like a raging river. My chest contracted tightly, and I could not breathe. My stomach muscles coiled, tightening until they pained me. I felt my fingernails digging into my own arm, as they hadn't been cut since the last mandatory checkup. Rivers of warmth flowed down my arm as the blood dripped slowly from the self-inflicted wounds.

The door swung open and a reeking stench filled my nostrils. The careless nurses never gave a damn about their personal hygiene and a familiar smell followed them wherever they went. The nurse set down a small cup of pills next to me. I leapt up and snatched the pills, small and round, my saviors. I swallowed these without another thought, and waited for the painkillers to flow once more through my veins.

The painful memories that had bombarded my head just moments before faded gently, leaving a foggy mist that relaxed me, that calmed me.

I sank back onto the flood and sighed, letting the waters of forgetfulness wash over me.


	6. Pain and Separation

**I am sorry that I haven't been updating, but I've had a lot on my plate. I know my past chapters have been kinda short, so I tried to make this a longer one. If it's too short, please tell me. **

**-silver**

**   
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Carlisle

I was mortified. He was gone. He had run away once more, had slipped between our fingers again. Alice was pacing in the living room, trying to determine the path that he had gone, but there was no trace of his future. It had been years since he had left his room, had left the comfort of his music and darkness. Now he was raging wild, with no one to restrain him, with his instinct running his actions.

All of the people that could be hurt, injured, killed. The vampire that I had come to think of as my son was out in the world, seething with depression and running from ... us.

I sighed again, combing my fingers through my hair once more. He had only left once before, when he had left her when he had made the absolute decision that made us all miserable. He had run away, lived alone for too many months, isolated from the contact of any other being.

We had found him as an animal, attacking us as we entered the territory that he had claimed. The memory of us was nearly gone, wisping in his mind, like a ripped photograph forgotten in the bottom of a trunk. He had tried, tried so very hard, to forget his past and everyone in it. We had been part of it, us ... as a family.

And her. It was she that he ran from, she who he could not face again. He was haunted by her as she lingered in his mind long after he left. He was hiding from her, and we were the gateway to this fear.

The first time he left her was hell. We had nearly broken apart, almost completely severing our bonds with eachother. We had split as couples, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, me and Esme, and Edward was left roaming by himself. This time was worse.

Jasper was wandering, keeping near yet far, far enough that he did not have to endure the torture of feeling the pain of three. He had left soon after Edward, his willpower crumbling under the emotions that overwhelmed us all.

Alice made sure that he was safe, yet flickered between us, spending some days with me and Esme, and the following with him. She kept tabs on all of us: where we were, who we met, how we are. She was my window to my family.

Esme stayed with me, my mate till the end of time, steadfast at my side and never wavering. She had taken a great toll in the separation, loosing two of her newfound children; one in body, one in soul. She never regretted coming with me, but she would look on at the door to Edward's bedroom for hours at end, willing him to come out.

Rosalie and Emmett I only saw through Alice. The were moving constantly, one day in Africa, the next in Europe. They never came back to us, Rosalie refusing to accept that Bella's absence was what tore us apart. The were safe, to say the least.

And Edward. Edward had never left his room, to even hunt in the last two years. He had wallowed in his regret, had suffered in the hands of pain. His eyes had been deeper than black, but a darker, more sinister colour – perhaps a deep, sharp color, such as the water of the ocean when no light shines on it. He had ripped apart the padded walls of his room, shredded the drapes that hung from the ceiling, tore at the door until wood chips scattered the carpeted ground. He was broken, but filled with something else. Fury, rage and loss.

Bella

Ignorance is bliss, someone once said. I must agree. Through ignorance, I have been able to forget all that plagued me, all that caused me to halt in my actions and weep. I was free without memories, free without fears and hopes and dreams. I could sit and let my mind wander, not afraid of anything that might cause tears once again to well up in my eyes.

The nurse once again placed the cup of pills on my stand, hurrying out to place another cup of medicine in another patient's room. I stood, grabbed the pills, and fingered them, rubbing their smooth surface. I swallowed them quickly. _Down the hatch, _I thought wryly, as they took away my memory again.

Edward

I ran, simply ran, through the cold, standing trees that mocked me. They swayed slightly, as it shaking their heads in disappointment. It was pure solitude here, where even thoughts did not penetrate the thick cluster of trees that protected me. I knew I could be alone, I could stay unthinking. No one could hear me, I could hear no one.

Alice would be worried, searching frantically for my future. I would be gone, erased, as my thoughts did not exist. Instinct ruled me now, and I did not make decisions beforehand, deciding something as the problem came to hand. I had no decisions to make, no problems that took pondering. I was free, but caged inside.

I halted in my fleeing, my fingers grazing a small freesia that nodded in the wind. Its petals were so small, so delicate, so pale in the moonlight that it rivaled the most elegant of floral breeds.

I touched it once more, feeling its soft petals on my cold skin, cupping it in the palm of my hand. It bend downward, resting against the tips of my fingers, its petals ruffling slightly in the wind. The opening petals revealed something glimmering in the moonlight, a single dewdrop as the cold night grew damper.

The droplet rolled down from the flower, sliding out from the heart of it into my hand, where it lay, so much like a tear. Ever so like a tear, it shivered there, then blew across my smooth skin as a breeze dashed it away from my palm. So much like ...

I ran. I had to get away.


	7. Blood Burgundy

**yay! new chap! sorry, god doesn't want me to write. Writers block, new operating system, crashing computer, and SO MUCH WORK TO DO! well, here it is. it's short, but its the best I could do now. I know it's like my other chapters, and you guys want me to do something new, but I need something to get the writers block out. **  


Edward

A camper had resided in the forest I was passing through, camping near the very beach I stood on now. He had no relations, no family, and had only wanted to live alone.

His smell was tempting, wafting from inside his tent to tease me as I ran through the forest.

I was thirsty. Very thirsty.

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The waves rippled slowly, rolling as the wind caresses it with gentle tendrils. The moon hovers gently above the horizon, its gentle light dancing across the waters. Sand is tossed in the wind, its breath blows the silver powder to scatter with a faint patter, letting them once again reside amongst their own. I do not feel it as they sprinkle lightly against the stone of my forearm, I feel nothing. I feel nothing.

The wind moves, moves to me, to flit up my neck in order to chill me. Its touch ... so cold, curling in a choke hold around me. So unlike her warm, tender hand moving gently to trace the long-dead veins in my arm, to circle the sparkling diamonds embedded in my skin ... I stepped back into the safety of the trees. I had felt to open, to exposed on the edge of the narrow, abandoned beach.

I turned to run again, only I face a pool instead. A pool of water that lay at my feet, glimmering in the shallow light of the moon. I bend to stare into its shallow waters. I see nothing. I see black.

Then I see me.

I see the circles that stand pronounced under my eyes. I see the stringy hair that had been once so soft and clean. And then I see the eyes themselves. I see the eyes that burn burgundy with fire that hold so many secrets of the dead. I see those people screaming as I tore into their throats, pulling their heads back to sink my teeth into their supple necks and drink the lifeblood from their veins.

I saw the camper's eyes as he stared up at me, stumbling back from his campfire and pushing open the flap of his tent. I saw the campfire sputter to embers as I followed the man into the tent. I heard the scream.

I snapped my head up once more, away from the mirroring waters. I ran again. I had no place to go, no one whom I could be with. But I could not be here.


	8. Returning

**Yay! A new chapter! I'm sorry if this one is sort of bad - I knew that I had to write the next chapter, and so I was writing this in the computer lab of the school during History. If there's any problems with this, please PM me or send me a review. Also, I have a feeling that this story's conclusion is coming soon, and it's coming to a close. Please review so I can make the ending as satisfactory as possible. **  


Alice

Looking through futures was like looking at sand, sifting through each grain and particle until the right one was held in the palm of the hand, shining like a seashell hat lay buried in the rubble. These futures were unsteady, waiting for the wind and water to rub against them, to shape them, to form them into the things that they will be. They are ever-changing, with each passing day showing more and more of the intimate swirls and sparks that dotted the little particle of rock. I sift through them, searching for the one that stands out – the one that I search for. These bits of sand are move, some being made, some being washed away by the waves that beat along the beach.

Today I was looking for Edward's future, one that was dark yet speckled with gold. I could see it, just barely, always slipping away before I could grasp it. Today, however, it lay an arms length away from me, waiting for me, as all of the other futures did. It was like a package waiting to be opened ... waiting for the one touch that would have it bursting with the possibilities that awaited it, and through it, me. The edge of my mind fingered it, brushing lightly against the cold, dark outside. That was enough. I felt the different lights pouring into my mind's eye, filling it. I gasped.

Carlisle

He was only using his instincts. Otherwise, Alice could have seen him. His instinct made split second decisions, not thinking ahead or planning for the future. Any of these would have been seen, yet the future that lay ahead for Edward was blank. This way, we couldn't find him. His future was existent, but it was like the mind that controlled it no longer existed. He was virtually invisible to us – impossible to find, impossible to see. His actions were unpredictable, and therefore dangerous. His instinct was controlling him. The instinct of a vampire is to kill.

I tried not to imagine what all of this would come to, with a desperate vampire running the streets. If only we hadn't left! If only … if only. I sighed unthinkingly. Alice immediately reached out to put a cold stone hand on my shoulder, to try and comfort me. I could see she was suffering too, in the absence of not only Edward, but Jasper. Mates usually stayed with each other forever, but with the turmoil of this household, love has been left behind. Jasper had still kept up the mindset that it was he who had run Edward away from his mate, that it was his entire fault. Making mistakes was a part of life, and slipping up was bound to happen as a newborn vampire. Living amongst humans was also a chance that our family had taken, and parts of our family also still took this chance. Half of them had not. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper still remained secluded in the woods and wilderness of Alaska . They had chosen the life without humans that was peaceful and easy, without the challenge of trying to keep our thirst sated for the humans' sakes. Esme, myself, and Alice had made the decision of remaining where we were, living amongst the humans and keeping Edward under control. Edward himself did not care where he lived, wanting only to remain undisturbed by us and the rest of the world.

I paced down the carpet again, staring at the brown-red that dried into the thick fibers. The carpet had been ripped at, torn, in the rage that had overtaken the son that raved, raved as he was imprisoned in his own bedroom. The curtains that had once opened into a window that stared into the rising sun were now closed, shut to the world. The couch had been worn to the brink of its falling apart, and I fingered the corner of the leather.

The door to Edward's room burst open, slamming back against the wall as Alice rushed in, her eyes still glazed with the effects of a vision. Her mouth opened wide, as if to scream, but no sound was emitted. I eased her down onto the couch, and awaited her words. As soon as the vision was over, she spoke.

"He's coming back ... he's coming back." Her voice trembled under the weight of the newly seen future. This should have been a happy thing, something to rejoice. But her eyes were still troubled. There was something wrong.

"He has fed already – from a human." I frowned, but this was not something new. In his state he was frenzied, crazed. I let her continue. What I heard next was what caused me to run, to grab her and race out of the house and gun the engine on my car.

"He's heading to the asylum."


	9. Delusional Rage

**Yes! New update ... sorry it took me so long. It's rather graphic, and bloody. Assume that Edward has gone a little mad at the loss of Bella and is in denial. **

**WARNING: THIS IS GRAPHIC AND BLOODY. EVEN IF YOU THINK THAT THIS IS NOT HOW EDWARD WOULD REACT, _THIS IS JUST A STORY. _I ACCEPT NO FLAMES, AND DON'T BE ANGRY. YOU ARE WARNED. **

Edward

I could already smell the anesthetic in the air. I knew where I was going - I knew that I would not like what I saw. I didn't want to see what I had done, but I was still running, running. I couldn't stop, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear. My mind was roaring in a thousand different voices, blending together so that no one voice could be heard. It was screaming in confusion, like the roar of a crowd panicking as it runs away from an imminent monster. Only in my head it sounded like the crowd multiplied by the thousands, all screaming in my ears as I ran. My head spun, my vision blurred, as I grew nearer and near to my destination.

The wind whipped past me, but I could hear nothing – not the thoughts that ran through others heads, not the sounds of my feed crushing the underbrush, not the wind whipping and screaming in my ears. The only thing that I could hear was the voices, the screaming that did not cease.

What I would see would crush me. I could already tell, with or without Alice's talent. I could smell the blood of the patients lingering inside. The human blood that boiled inside of me made me faster, stronger, swifter. The one strand of hope that I clutched desperately onto was shredding away into pieces as I ran closer and closer, blurring past trees and brush. The trees grew thinner and light shone dimly between their intertwining branches, the hazy light blinked between the moss-covered trunks of the surrounding trees. As the trees began to fade, I froze.

The asylum stood, blindingly white, out against the hazy light that filtered through the fog. Still shrouded by the increasingly shrinking cover of trees, I moved forward slowly, reaching out to touch the trees that I passed. The screaming in my head swelled, pressing in on my from all sides, and I dug my fingers deeper into the wood, leaving empty holes in the trunks of the trees. I took a hesitant step forward, toward the door of the asylum. The screaming escalated. Still I felt a pull toward the ominous white building – tugging at the deepest pits of my stomach and wrenching at the strings in my silent heart.

The door stood before me, an obstacle in my path. _She_ was waiting behind it, in a condition unknown by me. The glaring white light bounced off of the walls, giving my skin a dim glimmer. The knob glinted in the blinding light, taunting me, almost seeming to spin, to turn by itself. It was waiting for me to open it, for me to receive my torture.

I reached out a pale, trembling hand and grasped the knob. Even against my freezing skin it felt chilled, colder than the chill of death. I paused with my hand on the knob, my fingers wrapped firmly around the smooth metal, the voices screaming in my ears as two side, to enemies.

I could hear the voices screaming to open the door, to twist the knob, that it would be ever so quick to see her, that I needed to see her. At the same time they were screaming to turn back, that I was no longer a part of her life, that she would reject me, that I would only be doing harm. They rose as I turned the knob slightly, ever so slightly. Then my resolve gathered and I wrenched open the door.

The voices in my head screamed louder, louder, until I could hear nothing except them and the pounding of the noise that enveloped me. It was dark inside, darker even than my eyes could see well in. As my eyes adjusted, the voices gathered in one continuous roar.

"**NO!"**

Before me lay a contorted body huddled in the corner of the blackened room. Ragged, matted hair placed a curtain between me and the human, blocking my view of the face. I already knew who it was.

Blood ran down her arms like rivers, soaking her clothes and the padded walls, staining everything around me an even darker crimson. Bloodshot, yellowed eyes rose to meet mine as the curtain shifted to part. Sallow, sunken cheeks stretched as dry, cracked lips opened to scream in a bloodcurdling shriek. The voices that had swirled around me were silenced, drowned in the wail that chilled me to the very bone, to the deepest, darkest, most hidden part of my heart.

Her scream rang on forever, penetrating me in every way. It swallowed me, pierced me, stabbed at my every empty vein. It went on and on, ringing through every room in the building, warning others of my presence.

I shook my head, not wanting to believe it.

"No," I whispered, "No.

"This isn't her. You aren't her."

It couldn't be. I left her to live a life as a human, a natural, happy life. She's living that. This is not her. She's not in an asylum, she's not suffering. This is not her. My mind refused to accept that this was the angel that I had left, that this was Bella. It rejected the idea the moment it was formed with thought.

I was filled with rage, with fury. Someone was trying to trick me, to torture me. This was nothing more than a trap, a trick. This yellow-eyed _thing_ was here to taunt me at leaving her, it was not Isabella Swan. Isabella was living a fulfilling life, the life that I had wanted her to have. I lunged at the creature that mocked me, that was placed here only to cause me agony. I tore at its throat, spilled its blood until it soaked the entire room. I sought to do more but was dragged back, held by my father, whom I was barely able to recognize in my rage. Alice held my arms, Carlisle held my shoulders, dragging me out of the room. I tore at them, so enraged that I was raging to destroy the thing that caused me excruciating pain. My father and sister drew me out of the building, and I sagged in their arms exhausted, eyes as red as the blood that dripped from my hands.

**As I said, Edward is mad and in denial. Yes, he just killed Bella, but he's insane and believes that it was a creature that was taunting him for leaving Bella. This is _not_ the end, and will be one more chapter, two at the most. **

**NO FLAMES. I REPEAT – NO FLAMES. **


	10. Blood and Denial

**Sorry it's short, but the end chapter is coming up next. This one's just a filler chapter, which I thought was needed. **

Edward

I had killed her. In my delusional rage, I had killed the only thing that mattered. I broken the one tie that held me down to the earth, the one person that kept my sanity. I felt fragile, like an icicle melting in the heat of the sun. What had I done?

Again. I had done it twice. My rage had burned two people, the two closest people that I had. And now I had nothing, all because of one mistake.

The room was dark and suffocating, with the stagnant air pressing in on all sides. I could see the dim light that shone from under the door, leaving me one beam of light that flashed against the carpeted floor of my cell.

"You will not kill yourself." said Alice, before she left. She had dragged me from the hospital to our home, wrestling to get me back home, before I did any more damage. Carlisle had said nothing, not making any sound as he grasped me by the arm and pulled me into my room. Even his thoughts were silent, and the only thing that I could make of him were his solemn eyes, eyes that rippled with waves of sorrow and regret as they burned into me, watching my every move. He had left also, after a period of time. I was left alone.

I sat once again in the corner of my room, and turned on my music to drown out the memories of my tortured life.

Carlisle

I had seen him as he threw himself at her huddled figure, as he tore at her with frenzied moves and spilled her lifeblood over the floor. The humans would think something had attacked her, but I could do nothing now. They had discovered it already.

He had seen her, had seen what he had done to her, and he couldn't take it. He snapped. Something inside of Edward had broken, disillusioning him into thinking that she was not Bella, that he had done nothing wrong. As we dragged him through the woods he had muttered, "Not her, not her, not her. It wasn't her, it was a trick, she's safe somewhere else." He refused to accept what he had done to her. He had killed her. She was gone.

We couldn't let him kill himself, no matter what. He was my first son, my oldest companion, and we loved him. Still, we knew that he would try.

**I know, really short. But trust me, the next chapter is the end, so there's not a lot to tell. R&R!! Oo**


	11. Purgatory

**Finally! The end ... very short, and nothing like anything else. **

Bella

Darkness. Once again, darkness. I was stuck again in an asylum, as close to sanctuary as I could get. I was dead, yes, but neither heaven nor hell could receive me. Edward had struck out in his delirious rage, denying what he had done to me, thinking me as a mere illusion, spilling the blood in my veins and splattering it across the padded floor. He had never meant to harm me, never meant to kill the soul that lived within me, but at the same time he had. He was tortured, living as a soul without rest, wandering the barren land that was called the Earth. His sins were great, wracking his soul with the thought that his soul did not exist. Because of this he had lived a half-life, never grasping that he could do more and greater than he had ever imagined. I pitied and mourned over him, longing for him and yet shunning him all the same. And then, I sank and slipped away.

Oh, I had seen the light. I had seen the heaven that awaited me, but I could not go there. HE himself had comforted me, touched me, then turned me away. Not of sin or of evil, but of reasons that were too pure to be explained. But to explain he tried.

I could not exist without him. I could not be anywhere without him, for I would be in eternal torture. I was stuck here, in purgatory, skimming both heaven and hell, as this was the closest I could come to my sanctuary of peace.And so he darkness once again let me wallow in my dreary existance, the deep, consuming darkness. It swallowed me, engulfing me in the one thing that could keep me held, briefly, onto my sanity. That sanity was once again slipping away, like sand through the fingers of a playful child.

_The door swung open, and I reached out a hand to block my face from the light. Pills were dropped into my waiting hands and I swallowed them eagerly, without hesitation. They brought me back into the rivers of forgetfulness, leaving behind my life and love. But they worked slowly, letting me forget only a little each time._

I had watched as Carlisle had dragged Edward back from my mutilated body, as Edward's eyes glowed brighter red as my blood sated the raging beast inside him. And still, I watched him. An still I loved him.

Edward was my life. He was on earth. I was nowhere. I was too good for hell, and I could not go to heaven. Heaven without love is nothing – nothing. This was the closest HE could get me to heaven, that God could provide me. Hell had no place for me, and neither did heaven. Yet.

I couldn't exist in heaven nor hell without my love.

And what is heaven without Edward?

**Fin.**

**End! So, what did you think? Tell all, tell all. Click on the little blue button and review! **

**Tell me if it's good, bad, or just awful. WOO HOO!**


	12. SEQUEL

IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: SEQUEL

There WILL be a sequel, called HEAVEN, HELL, AND PURGATORY. This story (hopefully) will satisfy both those wishing for a happy ending and those wishing for one not-so-sad. There will be alternate endings but the same beginning for the sequel(s?) but I will do my best to make everyone happy. Please review for any ideas and/or comments.

-Darkling


	13. SEQUEL AND THANKS

AUTHORS NOTE

THERE IS A SEQUEL!! PLEASE GO READ

**HEAVEN, HELL, AND PURGATORY**

THANKS TO MY FAITHFUL READERS AND FANS, I HAVE FINISHED MY FIRST STORY OVER 10 CHAPTERS LONG! THANKS TO ALL!

PLEASE REVIEW!!


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